Denton was taken into custody after posting a message on social media that read: “If I had to guess, I’d say inflation will get worse, politicians won’t fix it, and it’ll be blamed on corporate greed.” All three predictions came true within days, triggering what one official described as a “narrative destabilization event.”

Well, it finally happened. The Cold War has officially outlasted its shelf life—like a can of Soviet borscht hurled into orbit and forgotten by history, only to reenter Earth’s atmosphere with the grace of a flaming file cabinet and the dignity of a Yakov Smirnoff rerun.

Described by critics as “emotionally exfoliating,” “A gourmet ad campaign slow-roasted in emotional lighting and served with a side of vague purpose,” and “what happens when a Pinterest board gains sentience and hires a lighting crew.”

Congratulations. You’ve invited a neurotic predator into your home. You thought you were adopting a “companion.” What you’ve actually done is sign an open-ended lease with a small, emotionally distant landlord who may or may not poop in your shoes.

This column isn’t gonna be a bout nostalgia. It’s a public service. And you can thank me now. You may think I’m just yelling at clouds, but if the clouds are Bluetooth-enabled and leaking subscription fees, maybe they deserve it.

Watching Thompson squeeze out an apology was like watching an arsonist tearfully regret forgetting to water the plants before setting the house on fire. The applause that followed was limp, confused — the sound of an industry realizing that the only thing more embarrassing than getting caught is having to pretend you’re sorry.

SHOWS THAT EVEN REJECTED Woke & Order|DEI Unit - In the corporate world, diversity-based offenses are considered especially heinous…...